Life: a competitve sport?

Life: a competitive sport?

One of my biggest pet hates is what I call a 'story topper.' You know the people I'm talking about. It doesn't matter if you are talking about something awesome that happened to you, or something really bad that happened to you- their story is always bigger and better, or sadder and worse... If you say you didn't sleep much, they say they haven't slept well for the last hundred years. If you tell them that your husband took you to a lovely Bed and Breakfast for your birthday, their husband took them to a lovely Bed and Breakfast in Paris for their birthday.... so I may be exaggerating just a little- but you know the people I mean.





Competitiveness between parents, family and friends came to mind when I was talking to a friend about the trauma I felt after having a medical issue a last year. I was talking to her about how emotional and drained I felt thinking about this brush with death. I aged twenty years in a matter of three weeks. She had cancer previously, she was similar age as me and her  children were the same age as mine. I went to her for some support. I told her that the doctors had found a 10cm mass on my ovary, that I had extremely high cancer markers and the long list of things that I could be was quickly getting shorter with each test. I told her I had an appointment with an oncologist the following day. I told her I was scared and obviously worried for my future and that of my family.  Her response to me? "You don't have cancer, come to me when you're diagnosed and we'll talk then- when you actually have it." She got up and walked away. Was this her way of making me feel grateful that I hadn't yet been diagnosed? I was dumbstruck by her response and our friendship has never been the same. Was this the time to compare the severity of medical illnesses? The coldness and competitive feel of her response brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it.

Comparisons are expected.

There are places in life when you expect there to be comparisons and competition. I think a tennis match would be quite boring if there were no point scoring. Obviously when you go for a job interview you are presuming you are being compared to the other applicants. Its the comparisons and competition in everyday life that I'd like to talk about. These are the things that are unnecessary and sometimes just for show. They can often put pressure and stress on those involved, and this can lead to pressure being transferred onto the kids.

Let's start with awards. You know the ones I'm talking about. They are the ones parents put photos of on their Facebook pages. These are intrinsic rewards and often mean more to the parents than they do to the kids. Often, not always. Many kids can see through the award system in schools. Everyone gets one sometime throughout the year. In fact I had one girl in Grade 3 once say to her friend "don't worry about not getting an award this week- you'll get one this year- and you don't have to do anything to get one." I laughed to myself and thought ".... out of the mouths of babes." I know many parents want their kids to have their 5 seconds of assembly fame. I'm not one of those parents. Not if
it not a real achievement.

"That book."

I had a Grade Two child once who was having a tough time making progress with her reading. She was a real go getter and tried and tried to improve her reading. The goal we set together was for her to get to a certain level by the end of the year. It was below where she was "meant" to be for her year level, but it was a leap from where she was at the beginning of the year. In the last few weeks of the year she made it. I was so proud of her, and she was so very proud of herself too. I gave her a copy of the first book she read by herself- "Green Eggs and ham"- for her to keep. Her mum took a photo of us together with our thumbs up holding the book. Interestingly four years later when she was finishing Grade 6 she had complied a book with all her 'keep sakes' from her time in primary school. In it was the photo of us on the day I gave her the book. Even more interesting- she hadn't kept any of her 'special awards.' She is actually one of my Facebook friends now that she is an adult, and one of the first things she said to me after she contacting me was 'I still have that book." A tear. I think private praise is so much more meaningful than public praise that is forced. It is real praise, and not praise just for show.

Childhood isn't a race...

The comparisons that school awards arouses is often hurtful. I had a colleague have a parent once ask her why one student had received an award for 'putting a lot of effort into improving her reading' when her daughter was 'clearly' a better reader than the student who received the award. How sad that this parent felt the need to not only compare her daughter's achievements to someone else's, but to complain that she should've been the one getting the award. I actually saw her each week come to assembly and write down all the reasons each child got an award for. If I have a parent come to me complaining that their child hadn't received an award yet and ask me when they'd be getting one, I'd go to my list of students who've received awards, I'd count how many students hadn't yet received an award yet (say 8) and I'd say "sometime in the next eight weeks." (P.S. they are always in the eighth week...)



Do we want to raise a participation award generation?

Sports ribbons for school sports... blah. At my school our Junior School sports in the first week of the year. Students would compete in basic, fun events such as the egg and spoon race, obstacle course and the sack race. At the end of each race they received a ribbon based on where they came- 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th. Not a problem- right? The issue that I have is the students expecting to get a ribbon for events they didn't participate in. I remember a parent getting very upset with me for not giving her daughter a fourth ribbon (for those who don't know- the colour is yellow for fourth) The reason I didn't give her one... because she didn't participate in it. She said she didn't want to participate... but yet wanted a ribbon for it. The parent thought I was being mean for not giving her one- because "it's only a ribbon." In my view I wasn't just a ribbon, it was an acknowledge of effort put in... not the lack of effort. This leads on from my first point about school awards. Students and parents are beginning to expect rewards for merely existing. Is this what we want for our children? As a parent I want my boys to feel proud of themselves for trying hard to achieve something. I don't want them to feel pride because another person- teacher, parents, grandparents- feel proud of them. I want them to feel proud of themselves because they are legitimately proud of themselves- not because of how others feel. When my boys achieve something new I try to remember to word my response to them carefully. My past self would have said "oh I'm so proud of you." I would now say "you should feel proud of yourself for doing that." Can you see the difference? I can.

Labels. "Gifted" is a descriptor thrown around by many schools, teachers and parents these day. Yes there are definitely, without a doubt academically gifted students in schools. I don't have a problem with this, in fact I love seeing how far gifted students can go with a topic. What I find unnecessary is parents using it as a badge of honour or as a way to put other parents down.

Supportive parents are what every kid needs.

I remember a few years ago I had a situation where I had a mother come to me in tears one afternoon. Over the last few weeks two parents who were 'parent helpers' in the classroom had come to her with suggestions for what she 'should' do with her daughter if she wanted her to be 'gifted'... like their boys. The parent was upset because she knew that they weren't concerned about her daughter's education because she was well and truly a long way off being gifted. In fact they referred to her as being 'considerably behind.' Her mother and myself already knew this. The problem with labeling a child 'gifted' is that it needs more clarification. Are they gifted in everything? Are they academically gifted? Are they socially gifted? I've yet to see a gifted child that was indeed gifted in everything they did. Is academic intelligence more important than emotional intelligence? I had a child in my class one year who was indeed gifted in the area of Numeracy and very bright in reading as well. His mother took extraordinary steps to make sure everyone knew about his gifted label. The problem was that he had a very low emotional intelligence. I can remember him bursting into tears and wailing because he couldn't work out how to put a border on his page while we were working in the ICT lab. Maybe he wasn't used to being the one needing help or maybe he was
frightened his mother would find out he couldn't do something... (He asked me not to tell her...)

Searching for my intellectual superior!

Mainstream schools aren't the only ones effected by a parent's desire to slap a gifted label on their kids and use it to describe them as though it was their middle name as per their birth certificate. I've seen more than a few requests on homeschooling pages asking for play dates with "gifted students only." I find this really unnecessary, and wonder if this is coming from the parents or has their child said to them "I really wish to have a play date with someone who is my intellectual equivalent." Hhhmm. In the school play ground I see good friendships develop between students who are 'above the expected level' and those who are 'working towards the expected level.' I don't see how their level of intelligence should matter. What should matter is if they have similar interests to one another and enjoy each others company. Why limit their social circle like this? Does it even help kids to know they are gifted? I had a prep child once say to me, 'my mum says I'm the best.' She was very bright academically however my reply to her was 'oh, the best what? Best dancer? Best athlete? Best artist?' I didn't say this to put her down, but merely to let her know that there were many areas we could be 'the best' in.

Disco party...

Question: when did kids parties become 'events.' When I was a kid and we had a 'big party' this consisted of inviting five friends over. We'd put on music to have a disco, maybe use torches to give the room the impression we were at a real disco... Today, many kid's birthday parties are events. I've been to a four year old's party that 300 people were invited to... I'm not joking. I don't think Elliott even knows 300 people! The parents justified the large numbers with 'it's his first party ever.' He isn't the only kid whose parents have gone, in my opinion, overboard with their child's party. I can honestly say that over the last ten years I've only ever seen an 'old fashioned' party game played once... pass the parcel -and everyone got a prize... Before I had kids I had a friend once say to me that they weren't having a party for their kid that year because they 'couldn't afford it.' When I asked her what she meant she said that her child's first five parties cost around 2K each. What! She told me of clowns, bouncy castles, princesses, petting zoos, catering.... Catering? When I became a parent I was amazed to see so many different events, characters, performances you could hire for your kid's party. I think I'm pretty good getting helium balloons for each party. What more does a party need? Throw in some chips and hotdogs- bam- party complete.

Here is an interesting article about a child who was invoiced for missing a classmates party.  How would you react to this?

This competitiveness very often leads on to children making comparisons with each other. When it is a child's birthday they are allow to bring something special to show the class. They often bring a toy they received for their birthday. There has been a limited number of times when there hasn't been at least one student in the class to 'top' the birthday girl's or birthday boy's gift. For example,  there was a student who brought in a photo of their new computer. They were very excited about it, and knowing the financial situation of her family, they probably saved up for months in order to afford it. Then it came question time. One student took this as an opportunity to not ask the birthday girl a question about her special gift, but rather to state that they received a computer that was "heaps better" than the birthday girl's prized computer and began listing reasons why theirs was far superior. This is just one example, but it happens all the time. Kids trying to out do each other... I wonder where they get it from?

Why do people feel the need to let other people know how much better their kid is, how much more they love their kid compared to yours. Everyone thinks their kids it the best thing that ever existed. I don't think it's a consistence that I gave birth to the two best kids that ever graced the planet... just a coincidence. Parenting is hard enough as it is. We need to support each other, their choices and their place in life rather than making them feel bad about themselves. Because the thing with competition there is always a winner... and a loser. It doesn't have to be this way.

Exclusion: Does it ever stop?

Exclusion- it’s a much talked about topic whenever the issue of bullying comes up. It’s a difficult situation to deal with because there are so many variables that comes into play. The question is ‘is it ever okay to exclude others?’ In my opinion, yes, it is okay to exclude others. However, there are certain ‘conditions’ I see to be important. 

As a teacher I often see students complaining of others not letting them play in their game. On investigation there are different reasons for kids not wanting to let certain kids play with them.

Is it ever okay to exclude someone?

Sometimes one child has been constantly unkind to others in a group of kids and as a result they want to distance themselves from this child. As an adult this is something that I do often. If people treat me poorly why would I want to spend my free time with them? But if kids do the same thing they are told that they are ‘excluding others’ and are told ‘that’s bullying.’ They are often told that they need to forgive and forget, and to give the child a second chance. Is this real life? As adults are we forced to socialise and spend our free time with people who have a negative effect on our lives. Not often. For many this is usually limited to work and family occasions! Then there's the idea that if children have these poor social skills which makes other kids not want to play with them- how are they going to gain the necessary skills in order to improve their friendship skills if nobody plays with them. But is that the job of others in their class or school? Its a tough one.

No body wants this for their child.

There’s a fine line between being realistic and being labelled a bully. I see kids who are forced to play with another child because they don’t have anyone to play with. I’m not talking about the kids I used in the above example. I’m talking about the kids who’ve done nothing wrong towards other students. I’m talking about kids who ‘just don’t click’ with others. They’ve played together before but they have nothing in common. There may be differences in interests and hobbies and they don’t have much to talk about. Not clicking with someone is okay. It doesn’t mean you don’t like someone, there’s just no chemistry in the friendship. There are two sides here. As a parent I’d hate to think that my child had spent a recess or a lunchtime alone because they didn’t have any friends to play with. But on the other side of the coin should we force kids to play with each other just because one of them doesn’t have anyone else to play with. I’d like them to have compassion for others but this is learnt through experience- not from having it forced on them. It’s a hard situation. 

Then there are the expectations some parents have about which events they feel their kids ‘should’ be invited to. I recently had my friend Ellie confided in me about a situation involving her sister Annie, Annie’s son Brad and Ellie’s son Andy. Brad has just celebrated his birthday and had chosen four friends to invite for a sleep over. When Ellie found out that Brad had a sleep over with four friend and didn’t invite Andy she was deeply hurt. She as unable to contain her feelings and when she spoke to Annie about Andy’s lack of an invite things got extremely heated to the point of fireworks.

Ellie felt that Andy should have been invited because they were good friends and cousins. However, Annie didn’t invite him for a number of reasons. Firstly, when Brad was asked who he wanted to come for a sleep over Andy wasn’t mentioned. Secondly, the two families live in different cities a three hour drive away. Thirdly Annie knew that the boys would see each other to celebrate Brad’s birthday the following day. So then the mud slinging started-with accusations of bullying and people not loving each other. Things got really out of hand. 

Everyone wants an invite...

The reasons for the exclusion is important to consider. Are the reasons for not including someone genuine or has it been done with malice? I’ve seen more than a few kids invite the entire class- except for one students. Often this has been done by handing out the invitations in front of everyone. Many parents tell their kids that they can invite 25 kids –but not 26 kids. Like one kid is going to make a difference! I think this is a parent’s cunning way to exclude one kid. On the flip side I don’t think it is reasonable to expect your child to be invited to a small group gathering when only a select few have been invited. It is different when a small group is invited compared to a large group.
 

Nobody like to feel excluded. We think we have great relationships with our friends. When we aren’t invited to certain events we question the ‘closeness’ of those relationships. It’s important to remember that sometimes there are reasons someone hasn’t invited us to one of their celebrations. I remember I had a friend who I met when I was eighteen and she was my singing teacher. We eventually ended up teaching at the same school together until she retired. I found out that she was having her 60^th birthday party, and I wasn’t invited. I was surprised because I had known her for over twenty years, she was there for my 18^th, 21^st and 30^th birthdays, my wedding and I babysat her kids when they were young. I thought we were close. I didn’t get upset. I was quietly disappointed and questioned whether I perceived our friendship as closer one than she did. After the party I asked her if she had a good time at her party (because I still wanted her to have a good time) and she took the opportunity to explain her reasons for me not receiving an invite. She told me that she didn’t think I’d have a good time at her party with her ‘old foggy’ friends. I told her I would’ve come because her birthday was about her- and not me. We ended up going out for dinner to celebrate her birthday and we got to chat a lot more than what we would have if I had come to the party.  The point is that there are sometimes well thought out reasons for not inviting someone.

As for incidences of exclusion within the homeschooling community it is hard to say since we've only just begun our journey. What I do know is that it does go on, but I'm not sure of the extent. In the year since we've started our home schooling life we've been excluded a number of times. Simon has been excluded from a small number of gathering because they were for "mothers only." I've had a home schooler on Facebook say that she 'doesn't want anything to do with me or my filthy children' because I "liked" an article about freedom of choice in regards to vaccinations... no great loss there. So it does happen.

Exclusion is hard to deal with. Nobody likes to be left out however there are sometimes reasonable reasons for being excluded. Disappointments are a part of life and we aren’t going to get invited to everything we want to. We have to develop positive self talk for when these situations arise. I think it's important for parents to pave the way in regards to how to respond and feel when they don't get an invite to a friend's place for a sleep over or play date. Kids will often pick up on how their parents are reacting and will usually follow suit. We need to be positive in our responses so that our children follow our positive thoughts and traits.

I hope you've found this post helpful. Please feel free to like, share and comment. Please message me with any typos or edits.

Happy homeschooling.
Alexis
XOXOXXO

Homeschooling radio interview on Fairdinkum Radio 8/7/2015

The other week I was invited to speak with Leon Prittard from Fairdinkum Radio. Here is a link to the interview. 

Interview with Leon 8/7/2015

Please feel free to comment and share the blog and the interview on Facebook. You can also "Like" my Facebook page "My life as a homeschooling teacher."

Love Alexis

The reasons of others

I've already covered our personal reasons for home schooling which you can read about.

But what about other home schooler's reasons?

Well there are many reasons parents choose to home school. Some welcome the decision while others feel like they've been forced into it due to their circumstances. The reasons for home schooling our kids is wide and varied, but the one thing we all have in common is that we do what we believe to be in the best interests of our children. Here are some of the reasons parents choose to home school their kids.

Special Needs: A common reason for home schooling that I see is students with special needs. Parents with kids that have Attention Deficit Disorder, Autism, Anxiety, Oppositional Defiance Disorder and Dyslexia (to name just a few) often make the decision that home schooling would be best for their child. They feel that the school can't provide the time and resources for their child. There are parents who have children with health issues such as epilepsy, anaphylaxis and diabetes. Both the student and the parent are worried about 'something happening' while they are at school. There are also children who have long term health issues that physically stop them from going to school. This includes kids who are having ongoing treatments and are too sick or weak to attend six hours of school each day.



Quality time: I know of a home schooling mum who made the decision to pull her daughter out of mainstream schooling after she separated from her husband. Let's call her Sue. Sue's main concern was the lack of quality time she was spending with her daughter. She figured that the school days were a 'write off' because school mornings were rushed and all about breakfast, lunches, finishing homework and uniforms. Quality time in the evenings were even harder to find. Her daughter would come home tired and cranky, and there was always homework to do. This was, of course, in between all of her after school activities which included basketball, dancing and drama classes. Sue's now ex-husband had their daughter each weekend. This left her with mornings and evening, none of which Sue felt was 'quality time.' Sue has now been home schooling her daughter for a few months and it is going well. This is one example, but Sue is not alone in her worries about the lack of quality time with her daughter. It's what every parent wants- right?

Stress: As a teacher I had no idea of how many students were stressed about coming to school. All I saw were a few kids at the beginning of the year who were a bit hesitant to come to school, but this only ever lasted a week or two. And even in those first one or two weeks the student seemed fine once the initial start of the day and saying goodbye to mum part was over.  I would never have imagined that students and parents would lose sleep because of school. Students are (amongst other things) stressed about how well they are doing compared to others, the work load put upon them (see my post on homework) the expectations they feel their parents put on them as well as friendship and social issues.

Then there are the Year 11 and 12 students who aren't coping with the pressures of their final two years of schooling. The work load is too overwhelming. There is the added pressure of needing to know what they want to do with their lives at a relatively young age. They have to choose subjects based on "what they want to be when they grow up" when they are finishing Year 10. If they don't choose 'correctly' it means they mightn't have the prerequisite subjects to apply for certain courses. I completely understand the rational behind prerequisites but it is a big thing for young kids to think about. I've seen parents home school their kids in the final few years of high school by extending it out to two years instead of three. This allows students to focus on 2-3 subjects at a time rather than a full load of subjects. The parents can work at their child's pace which the student feels comfortable with.

Working in levels: Some parents feel that schools don't adequately cater for the learning needs of their child. This includes children working well above the expected level and those who are working below the expected level. This is certainly a big issue when you are working in large classes. Please see my post "Twenty five one and onlys" for more class sizes.

What do you want your kids to learn?

What they are being taught: Some parents are afraid of what their child is getting taught in school- besides the ABCs. I'm taking about learning to obey without question, that authority is always right and must be obeyed. I remember having a student teacher a few years ago. She was a forth year university student who was in 'full control.' This means she was acting as the class teacher from the start of the day until the end of the day. I was there to observe and supervise her. There was a situation with one of the students who was swinging scissors around on his finger. She asked him to stop to which he replied "why should I?" The student teacher replied "because I'm your teacher and I told you to stop. That's why." Hhhhmmm. In this situation I'd be focusing on the fact that it was a fair and reasonable request that he stop doing what he was doing, rather than expecting him to obey her just because of her position as a teacher.

Traveling provides rich learning experiences

Travel:I used to be a teacher who used to baulk at families taking their kids out of school on holidays. Past tense. Used to. I now think that traveling the world, experiencing all that life has to offer is the best kind of education there is. What a fun way to learn about geography. How valuable would it be to learn another language by visiting and staying in that country for an extended period of time!

Never my child!

Bullying: Then there's the bullying. This seems to be a big reason for parents pulling their kids out of mainstream schools. As a teacher you see this often, if not daily. It's hard to deal with for many reasons. It's difficult because there are few parents who want to believe their child could possibly be a bully. For them a bully is a big, burly brute who throws other kids into garbage bins while other cheer them on. It's hard to believe that their precious child with pigtails and dimples could possibly be biting, pinching and scratching other children. As a parent I understand how hard it would be to believe.





As a teacher it's hard to deal with students who constantly bully other children. You want the behaviour to stop so that the other students can come to school knowing that they are going to be safe and happy throughout the day, but the sad fact is, bulling still happens. Just because I want my classroom to be a "Bully free zone" and do everything in my power to stop it from happening, it still happens. It happens while they are waiting in line, it happens in the bag area, it happens in the toilets, it happens so easily- and many times for no reason. I remember seeing a boy punch a classmate in her tummy while they were standing in the back of the line. Nothing preceded it, he just punched her- in front of me- no trying to hide it. The young girl he punched was a lovely, well mannered and friendly student who I'd never had any problems with. When questioned as to a possible reason he punched the girl his reaction was to shrug his shoulders and say 'I don't know.' (FYI the shoulder shrug is one of my biggest pet hates as a teacher) His mother defended him saying "oh yes, he has trouble controlling himself sometimes." And here we have the problem. A parent justifying their child's poor behaviour. Parental denial is a huge problem when trying to deal with bullying. Sure, there are certainly some children who legitimately struggle to control their behaviour but the kid getting punched in the stomach doesn't care about that. They care about the fact they've been punched for no reason, by a child who is going to be in close proximity for a whole year.

Then there are parents who acknowledge their child's poor behaviour who often believe the student, teacher, principal and victim's parents are overreacting to the bullying. I've seen a male student continuously snap the bra strap of a Grade 6 student. This went on for weeks with numerous trips to the principal's office- but it still continued. The mother of the offending student acknowledged that it wasn't the right thing to do but when it was suggested that he may get suspended if it continued she said that a suspension would be 'a bit harsh' because 'boys will be boys.' (I'm always amazed at how many parents justify their boys poor behaviour with this phrase.) I have often found myself wondering if the parents were bullies too when they were at school, and this is why they don't seem to have a problem with it.

What should I do next?

Sometimes parents are well aware of what their child is doing but they don't know what to do about it. They want help and they take the help that is offered to them by the school and outside facilities, but the behaviour just doesn't get any better. Even though these parents often are in the hardest situations (usually because of the severity of their child's behaviour,) and their kid is extremely challenging to manage (let alone teach,) I do feel for these parents. They are often pulling their hair out, they've often exhausted all of the resources available to them but the behaviours still persist. Sometimes they choose to home school their kids.




Regardless of the situation, the excuses/ reasons a child bullies others the issue is still there. It doesn't matter to the victim if the parents of person who is punching them are separating, they don't care if the bully is 'getting help for his/her anger' or if the bully says a forced, insincere "sorry." They care about whether it is still happening. Sometimes it's the class teacher not doing enough, sometimes it's the principal lack of effort, and sometimes it is the Education Department not doing enough. There are different levels of bullying, some of which can be dealt with at a classroom level. There are also more serious, constant bullying that is a matter for the principal and school to deal with. And there are extreme cases where the school has asked for assistance from the department, and they have received no help at all. Frustrating!

So as you can see there are many, many reasons for homeschooling. Parents do what they think is the right thing to do for their kids. When I hear of a parent struggling with the "will I or won't I " home school them decision, I always remind them that their decision is not an irreversible one. If it doesn't work out the way you want, you can always look into other alternatives, or send them to a regular, mainstream school. You have to find through trial and error what works best for you, and more importantly your kids.

Have I included your reason for homeschooling on my post? 

I hope you've found this informative and helpful. Please feel free to share on Facebook and to make a comment.

To kinder or not to kinder- that is the question!

My boys simply love kinder. And what's there not to love. There's singing, dancing, painting, mess, chickens hatching, puppet shows, noise and laughter. Elliot and Nate not only love going to kinder, they will ask if they can go even on their non-kinder days. Wow! So what's the problem?

The problem is this... it's kind of getting in the way of homeschooling. For us our boys go to kinder two days a week. The kinder is in a daycare centre and they go there for a full day on the days we choose. The issue is that if we didn't have the boys in kinder we could meet up with a lot of other homeschooling parents and their kids. I like the idea of getting some social circles going before we start the 'real stuff' in 2017. However that's going to be really difficult if the boys aren't 'free' to catch up because they are at kinder.

Then I had the wonderful idea that I could pull them out of daycare kinder and put them into 'real kinder.' You know the ones run by the parent community. I was discussing the issue with another homeschooling friend and she felt that she was in the same position as us... kinder was cramping her homeschooling style. And it was only going to get worse when her daughter goes to four year old kinder in 2016. Four year old kinder is four half days a week with a total of fifteen hours per week. These half days meant that she would find it difficult to participate in homeschooling activities with her eldest child who she has just started homeschooling. This is because many morning homeschooling activities go past 12 o'clock when the daughter would be starting her kinder.

So the question for us is- do we pull them out of kinder all together so that we can establish some solid relationships and friendships (for both the kids and the parents) in the year before we officially start. That way we can focus on the task of educating when we start. Or do we leave them in kinder for as long as they would be if they were going to mainstream schooling. There are plenty of pros and cons for each side but its a matter of what is best for our boys and our family.

We have yet to decide what we are going to do so only time will tell... anyway, Tony Abbott may be making the decision for us. 

Please feel free to share on Facebook and comment at the bottom of this post.

Love Alexis.

Twenty five one and onlys

 Twenty five one and onlys

As a beginning teacher I thought I understood how important each child was to their parents. Once I became a parent I realised that, children weren't important to their parents- they were their whole world! They want what is best for them, and many parents will do whatever it takes to give their children 'the best' of everything. I truly get that now... although there's differing opinions between parents on what constitutes 'the best.' So when parents go on school tours, or onto school website and they see the phrase 'catering for the needs of all students' (or something similar) most parents would think 'great, that's just what I need for my child.' Sounds fabulous. May I have an enrollment form please...  However, what seems to be a fantastic opportunity is flawed in many ways.

One of my main concerns as a teacher and as a parent is class sizes. Before we decided to home school I wanted my boys to be in a school that offered small class sizes because, of course, that's what they needed and 'deserved.' Where is this magical school where classes were small, all the way through the school (not just in the first few years), that is Government funded, where there are places, that is located nearby?

In my time as a teacher I've had as many as twenty nine students and as few as eighteen at one time. If you've got less than 25 students in one year you feel like you've won Tattslotto. But in reality even 18 students is a lot of kids who need your time and resources.

This is a common concern many home schooling parents have and the reason cited for their decision to take their kids out of mainstream schools. And rightfully so. Why? Let's break down the typical school day.

Thumbs up for small groups... but what about the rest of the class?

Reading, Writing and Numeracy is expected to be taught each day, for an hour each. Sound great! Sounds like plenty of time to work with each student! Hhhhmm. Well, let's break it down further. Each one hour session should consist of a 'whole group focus' which should take 10-15 minutes. An independent learning task which should take 25-30 minutes. In this time students work in groups at 'their level' and the teacher works with a 'focus group' for around 15 minutes of this session. Then there is a 'share time' at the end session which takes around 15 minutes. Sound great. Let's break it down even further. Let's look at that middle 'independent learning' block. This includes group work which always includes a group using technology (i.e. ipads, netbooks and PCs) It usually takes 5-10 minutes to get the computers that the kids are using to work and for the kids to find the app or website which they are meant to be using during that session. After these kids are sorted out and working, the teacher then goes to the kids working in the 'focus group' to spend 15 minutes with these kids. After the session with the focus group is over there are 5 minutes left to work with the rest of the class... If I exclude the children who were in the 'focus group' -you've still got around two thirds of the class that you haven't 'seen' yet. So in the average class of 25 kids, you've got around 16 kids you haven't seen yet for this session.... So you then have your share time and move onto the next lesson, hoping that anything they've written down will give you a clue as to how they were going to understanding the concept of the day's lesson.

This is what it feels like!

As a teacher I feel guilty about not being able to 'see' each student individually for the all important reading, writing and numeracy. I endeavor to make sure that my focus groups for each of these lessons are with different groups of children. That way I've at least seen each child once a day-even if I don't see them individually for each session.

Teachers, principals and schools know this is a problem. This issue is addressed by using the phrase 'differentiated curriculum.' For non teachers out there this means, that the lessons are designed to be 'open' enough that all students can enter the lesson at 'their level.' This is often incorporated into the lessons with the use of group work. Each group has a different task each day of the week and they work with students who have similar needs to their child. For parents going onto the school's website you'd be reading this, thinking, "Wow that's great." Well here's the reality of what's I've seen. I've seen students working in groups at roughly the same 'level' but expected to complete the same task as students in every single group in the class. The only difference is that they complete the task on a different day to the others. So the highly able kids work on the same task as the kids who are academically struggling- just on a different day.

This is what it feels like being a classroom teacher.

Then there is the size of the groups. I can remember seeing one class who had three groups during each Numeracy session. There was a 'bottom group,' a 'middle group' and a 'high group.' (I've used quotation marks around these group names because these were the names given to each group... I have a big problem with these names.... but that could be a whole new post!) In this class of Grade 1 and Grade 2s there were 26 children. There were two children in the bottom group and four students in the high group. Which means there were 20 children in the middle group. I'm not joking. This was in a room where the teacher claimed that their lessons were differentiated. 

I'm by no means saying that class size is the only factor that influences student performance but it is a contributing factor. There are many factors that have an impact a child's education- and this is one of them.